Wednesday, December 31, 2014

Day 31, 100 Happy Days: Not Partying

I'm sitting here in front of the fire with a nice cup of tea. It's New Year's Eve. It's quiet, I'm alone, and I am happy.

What's making me happy? Is it the lack of fanfare? The quiet? Solitude? I gotta say; I've had 48 New Year's eves in my lifetime and only a few of them came close to what I consider "good". None of them were great, and several were disastrous.
It is so nice to be okay enough with myself to not feel the need to get out there and party. It is wonderful to allow myself the contentment and quiet.

In years past I would try and try to have a good NYE - as if it were my duty. I don't know what is wrong with that celebration. I want to love it, but... I guess there is just a lot of expectation put on it. It never lives up.

The years when I haven't tried to make it a great party night, I would stay home and try to ignore it. I would pretend it wasn't happening, and that I didn't want to be out there living it up. Boy does it feel good to be done with that!

So I'm spending tonight in front of the fire, writing, planning and being.

What a beautiful way to ring in the new year.

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