|An unexpected note from my mom.|
In the process I found three important things:
1) My mom's Om ring. Fits my finger perfectly, and I plan on wearing it just like I've been wearing my sister's prayer wheel ring for the last 18 years.
2) A bracelet with my mom's name "Linda" inscribed on the front, and on the back "Danny 12/25/63".
(A year ago she told me how Danny was the love of her life. Danny was not my father, and the bracelet was received three years before I arrived in the world.)
I can't help but think that the bracelet must have meant a lot to her at some point. So, I'm wearing that, too.
3) Most importantly, I found a notebook with journal entries - notes - to me. She wrote it several years ago, and it was clearly to be read after her death. She starts out with:
"Every so often, I start thinking about my mortality... and you."She talks about things she wishes she would have done better, and also what she wants for me.
..."Most of all I want you to find happiness, to feel good about yourself, and enjoy every moment of life. I wish you love - in the highest form, always."And she offered some really great advice:
..."Don't spend too much time looking back. Enjoy the present moment - get into the moment (that is Nirvana, Samadhi - true Cosmic Consciousnesses) and live it. No time for sadness."
|My mom's om ring next to my sister's prayer wheel ring.|
For now, my point is this: I found the jewelry and read my mom's notes right before bed last night. It was highly emotional to read, but I read it with more joy than sadness.
I woke up this morning happy and content; fully rested and ready for my day after 5 hours of sleep. My head was clear and I felt peace of mind. Upon awakening I had - and still have - my mom's jewelry on as a reminder of her, and her wonderful words to me. These are words to live by, and this is my happiness for today.