Saturday, April 26, 2014

Happiness Project Day 80: A Note From Beyond - Advice From My Mom

An unexpected note from my mom.
If you read yesterday's post, you know that I spent last night sorting through some of my mom's stuff, and settling more into my apartment, and really, into my new life. (After losing my mom in August of last year.)

In the process I found three important things:

1) My mom's Om ring. Fits my finger perfectly, and I plan on wearing it just like I've been wearing my sister's prayer wheel ring for the last 18 years.

2) A bracelet with my mom's name "Linda" inscribed on the front, and on the back "Danny 12/25/63".
(A year ago she told me how Danny was the love of her life. Danny was not my father, and the bracelet was received three years before I arrived in the world.)
I can't help but think that the bracelet must have meant a lot to her at some point. So, I'm wearing that, too.

3) Most importantly, I found a notebook with journal entries - notes - to me. She wrote it several years ago, and it was clearly to be read after her death. She starts out with:
"Every so often, I start thinking about my mortality... and you." 
She talks about things she wishes she would have done better, and also what she wants for me.
..."Most of all I want you to find happiness, to feel good about yourself, and enjoy every moment of life. I wish you love - in the highest form, always."
And she offered some really great advice:
..."Don't spend too much time looking back. Enjoy the present moment - get into the moment (that is Nirvana, Samadhi - true Cosmic Consciousnesses) and live it. No time for sadness."

My mom's om ring next to my sister's prayer wheel ring.
I actually think I'm doing a pretty good job of living her advice. It makes me feel like I'm on the right track. There are several pages of notes that she wrote over the course of a few days. She offered advice (in the form of "if I had it to do all over again") on health, which I'm taking to heart. But that's another blog entry entirely.

For now, my point is this: I found the jewelry and read my mom's notes right before bed last night. It was highly emotional to read, but I read it with more joy than sadness.
I woke up this morning happy and content; fully rested and ready for my day after 5 hours of sleep. My head was clear and I felt peace of mind. Upon awakening I had - and still have - my mom's jewelry on as a reminder of her, and her wonderful words to me. These are words to live by, and this is my happiness for today.

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