Monday, March 31, 2014

My Happiness Project Day 53: Learning to be Happy

To my memory, I was a pretty miserable kid. My mom (and many adults) liked to call me grouchy, and in fact, I really related to Oscar the Grouch, of Sesame Street fame. I'm surprised whenever I see pictures of myself smiling as a kid. I was moody. I felt alone, isolated and like I had very few shared experiences with other human beings. I was an only child until I was ten, and I'd spent some time begging my mom to have another child so I wouldn't be so lonely.
To make matters worse, I thought I wanted to be left alone. But... I didn't, really. Of course I longed for connection, but I didn't know how to connect, so I kept to myself.

Of course there were friends, here and there that got in. Some of them I'm still friends with, today (and I'm so thankful the were there). But they were so few and far between, that they really stand out in my memory.

I don't mean to have a pity party about my childhood, here. This is all to say, that somehow, at some point, I talked myself out of my misery. I don't know exactly when it happened, but along the way I changed my set-point from miserable to happy. I made a decision, and shifted my focus.
And then life knocked me down, as it tends to do. So, I'm changing my focus again, and slowly but surely I'm getting back to myself.

What made me happy today? Knowing that it's within my control. I feel that if I can overcome the unhappiness that I felt that I was born with, that anyone can.
I know it sounds simplistic, but it really does work. Life is all about perspective. You can look at the trash in the street, or you can look at the beautiful clouds up above. I've definitely got my head in the clouds.

My happy walking music this evening? Toni Braxton You're Makin' Me High

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